Macaronster

Like many, many people in this world, I have a slight obsession with macarons. They are wonderfully delicious cookies with an indescribable texture. They come in pretty much every flavor imaginable and in every color you can think of. And they sort of resemble little hamburgers. I would put up a picture of them, but I am going to be really stubborn about only posting pictures that have come from my own camera, so instead I shall refer any readers to this absolutely gorgeous blog that shows and tells you everything you want to know about macarons. After falling in love with Pierre Herme macarons when I was in Paris, I returned to the states in search of a place that could produce a similar delight. I suffered two problems, the first of which being that there were scarcely any places that carried these lovely creatures, and the second of which being that of the places that did have them, all were sub-par. Maybe sub-par is a little harsh since they were still kind of good, but they didn't carry the full force of texture and taste that comes with the title macaron.

Being the maniacal kitchen person that I am, I decided that since no one else could make them to my liking, I would. Long story short, I failed. Despite being cute, often pastel-colored, little things, they are horrible monsters that drive you to tears. The first time I tried making them was at home a couple years ago. They tasted alright, but they completely lacked the frilly little foot that is essential to macarons. The next few times were earlier this year, in my dorm, and those were complete busts. They kept coming out crunchy, lopsided, and excessively brown. After those failed tries, I, absolutely discouraged, placed my almonds in the back of my shelf and forgot about them.

Last week, I got the hankering for a macaron again, and after some troubleshooting, I learned that my thin, warped cookie sheet was the problem. With renewed vigor, I marched to the store to buy a heavy-duty baking pan. I left with a sturdy, double layer insulated baking sheet and a reusable nonstick baking sheet liner (since using up so much parchment paper hurts my conscience). That night, with all my ingredients ready to go, I began. Sadly, I did not even get to the part where I tested out my new baking sheet. I couldn't even get my egg whites to form a nice stiff meringue. They just became this thick...goo. I was done.

I put my macaron ingredients away and, rather than throwing away my pathetic egg white mess, I dumped random other things into them to make an impromptu chocolate cake-bread of sorts. Since macarons call for only egg whites, I also made lemon curd with the remaining yolks because I hate wasting anything. With a burning passion. The lemon curd is quite good with morning toast. At least I got something out of my macaron failure.

Chocolate loaf and lemon curd

The chocolate loaf was actually kind of not good at all, but what can you expect from bread bred from anger and frustration. (Ha, bred/bread, get it?) My roommate and I ate it anyway. The lemon curd recipe came from here, but I only used the juice of half a lime since the other half went into my banana bread. Oh speaking of that banana bread, only after going to the post office, finding it closed, and asking my roommate why it was closed, did I realize today was President's Day. Curses, banana goodness delayed a day.

On a side note, buying a lemon from the market nearly killed me. At home, I have a prolific lemon tree, and I always took it for granted that lemons were free. Being on the other side of the country, many miles away from my backyard, I realized that if I wanted a lemon, I would have to go to the store and shell out sixty-seven cents for it. This may not be a lot, but it was a huge blow to someone who has not purchased a lemon in a decade. Okay, this could be a gross exaggeration since there aren't always lemons on my tree all year round, but at least at home, it was my mother doing the purchasing, not me.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that macarons are vicious. After nursing my wounded ego back to health, I'll be making another attempt at them. And then another. And then another. One of these days, I swear I'll get it. Macarons, THIS ISN'T THE LAST OF ME!